Issue #170:
Apr 18, 2008
The Problem with Corduroy PantsMatthew Poepsel, LeftBrain/Co-FounderI'm not quite sure how it happened, but my 7-year old son has turned into quite a clothes horse. It started innocently enough. He had a favorite shirt. Then he wanted to wear shorts to school. If he did his own laundry, his penchant for specific wardrobe items wouldn't be any problem at all. But he doesn't know his Cheer from his Snuggle, so the laundry pile grows throughout the week. To make matters worse for the lad, certain events often dictate what he can and can't wear. (No cutoff jeans for dinner at the White House, for example.) As a finicky 7-year old, this situation can present a major problem. On one recent occasion, my recommendation was for him to wear a pair of black corduroy pants. This seemed the logical choice since they were a) clean, and b) the only thing clean, and c) just put on the damn pants. His reaction? Stomping about, whimpering softly, muttering under his breath, gnashing his teeth, and generally carrying on for several minutes. A great injustice was afoot, and it had clearly destroyed his life. (At least until Scooby-Doo came on 5 minutes later.) I watched this episode play out, and I thought of how ridiculous his reaction was. I can appreciate his frustration, but let's face it - corduroy pants aren't really a problem in the grand scheme of things. They're just pants. This led me to compare his "problem" to my own situation. I thought to myself, "You want to talk about problems, challenges, and frustrations, son? Try staring down a virtual stack of 25 emails, all of which have some critical action crying out for your attention. How about financial planning? Try balancing a mortgage, student loans, retirement planning, and three kids! Buddy boy, you think you've got problems? I've got real problems to deal with here." Needless to say, we managed through the episode, but the comparison stuck with me. His molehill was no match for my mountain. Later in the week, I found myself sulking in my hotel room. I was burned out, tired from a long workday, and generally frustrated. My problems had gotten the best of me that night. I'm 37, not 7, so my equivalent of stomping about and gnashing my teeth was to sit in a heap in front of the television for an hour. I began flipping through the channels, when I stumbled on a program that led me to a stark realization: I may as well have been whimpering over corduroy pants. The show was a documentary on HBO called "The Greatest Silence: Rape in the Congo". The show featured the heartbreaking stories of dozens of women who had been brutally raped and beaten in wartime Congo. The documentary explored the grave situation through the eyes of the victims, doctors at Panzi hospital who sought to treat them, the ridiculously understaffed policewoman (singular) with a token assignment manage to the problem, and self-admitted perpetrators. So many women told stories of how they had watched their husbands and children killed in front of their eyes. Then they described enduring unthinkable acts of "sexual terrorism". Their bodies, their self-image, and every other aspect of their lives had forever been destroyed by their ordeal. Hmmm. Was I just complaining about email back there? It was easy for me to see the frivolity in my son's frustration with corduroy pants. It was almost impossible for me to do the same for the challenges in my own situation. That's the problem with personal problems - they're just so doggone personal. What I mean by that is that any frustration or irritation is magnified when it directly impacts our world. It's hard to keep our perspective when a co-worker is late with an assignment you need, the bills just keep piling up, or the cable guy is running late. It's not that these problems aren't real or don't need to be dealt with in some constructive way. The issue sets in when we interpret our problems as colossal, non-actionable, or as reflections on who we truly are. I would guess that 99% of the things that frustrate us and keep us separated from our true potential fall into the "corduroy pants" category. I don't mean to trivialize what feel like very real problems, I'm just arguing for a little perspective and conscious interpretation. A negative reaction to the challenges we face taints our interactions with others and our internal thoughts and dialogue. A lack of proper perspective and a vicious negative feedback loop are enough to severely disrupt our path toward success and full potential. We have to remain diligent as we try to keep things in proper perspective. Can you divorce emotion from the equation? Can you look objectively at your life situation? Think of the biggest irritation you're currently facing. For one moment, don't try to solve it, don't judge it, and don't react to it at all. Ask yourself: is this frustration really not just corduroy pants of a different color? What is my best course of action, given my available resources and options? Who can I work with to address this problem or share it with to gain their insight? If you can step away from the challenge you're facing and explore it in this impartial way, you'll have a better chance of addressing it and living life with a proper mindset. That mindset is key to your personal success (cutoff jeans optional). Life's closet is full of corduroy pants. Pull them on one leg at a time, and let's get back to work on achieving our goals. Related Links "Rigid Velvet" is not a rock band Quotes of the Week"He is happy whose circumstances suit his temper but he is more excellent who can suit his temper to any circumstances" "You are the embodiment of the information you choose to accept and act upon. To change your circumstances you need to change your thinking and subsequent actions." "Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!" |
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Coaching Quickie: The Problem with Corduroy PantsHow well are you able to take the proper perspective relative to your personal problems?Follow the link above to vote for your response. While you're there lend us your feedback, or share some goals with fellow readers. Check back next week for results! Last Week's ResultsCoaching Quickie: I'm With the Brand If you missed it, you can read last week's newsletter online here. |
