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Trick or Treat

This week brought Halloween to our happy little neighborhood. You know what that means: "Honey, let's dress kids in cheap polyester costumes and send them to the neighbors to beg for food!" In case you're impervious to sarcasm, I'd just like to mention that Halloween is not my favorite holiday. (I'm an Arbor Day man, myself.)

Still, Halloween is always a crowd pleaser. I began the evening by rounding up my little ones - a mummy, a pop star, and an evil fairy - and saying goodbye to my wife, a witch (she was dressed like a goblin). We headed out into the dark streets and marveled at the seemingly endless stream of vagabonds careening from house to house.

As I walked down the street, I was surprised at how much effort some people put into their Halloween decorations. Sure, a few houses didn't do much of anything special. (One antisocial homeowner even left a bowl of candy on the porch with a "Help yourself" sign.) Other homes proudly display bats, ghosts, spiders, and tombstones complete with the obligatory spooky music. One house on our block was completely over the top. You couldn't miss it - it was the one with the witch/goblin cackling on the front porch.

After tens of minutes of trick-or-treating, I decided to return home. I figured that it was my turn to sit on my butt and give out candy. (How hard could that be?) When I got back, I saw that the crowds had taken their toll. The candy bowl that had been piled high earlier that evening was now dangerously low. I glanced over at the "standby" pile of candy next to the table. Hmmm. There was quite a variety of snacks in the several bags that remained. Plus, it was getting late, so I figured we were going to have some leftovers.

Weighing the seriousness of the situation, I leapt into action. I reached into the candy bucket, and I pulled out my perennial favorites - the Almond Joys, the Twix, and the Whoppers. I poured the standby dregs into the outgoing bowl. I let out an evil laugh as I watched Skittles, organic whey bars, and dented cans of sardines drop into place. (Bwah, hah, hah.)

When the next round of kids came to the door, their eyes filled with excitement. They yelled "Trick or treat!" And then they glanced into my bowl of misfit treats. I smiled broadly and said, "Help yourself." Sure, some of them seemed disappointed, but hey, that's life. I figured they'd get over it. I think my whey bars even inspired some of the teenagers toward a more healthy lifestyle. I overheard two of the boys saying they were going to buy several dozen cartons of organic eggs later that night.

The more I thought about the situation, the more I realized that we sometimes behave in a similar way in our own lives. Sometimes, we keep some good things for ourselves while doling out some less desirable things to our families, our friends, and our co-workers. Since I'm fresh out of sardines, I thought I'd offer up some examples below.

Things we often bogart for ourselves:

Our dreams. Too many times, we're afraid to share our visions for the future. We may feel embarrassed about having "pie-in-the-sky" desires or worried that dreaming makes us seem like Pollyannas. There will always be some "haters" out there, but I've found that most people want to be inspired and they're moved by our biggest dreams.

Our goals. We may feel that if we tell others what we're working to accomplish, that they may think less of us if we come up short. There's always a risk in making any declaration, but I feel that the added accountability is actually a great thing. We need to share our goals with others if we truly want to succeed.

Our support. Sometimes, we're hesitant to offer our support to those around us in case they may feel embarrassed by our thoughtful gesture. Putting the social awkwardness aside, most people who are close to us would prefer the help if they could get it. (Even if they won't ask for it.)

Things we often share a bit too freely:

Our negativity. Sometimes we may have a bad day. It happens to the best of us. But, if you're fixated on your problems and the negative happenings in your life (parking ticket, mean boss, cold lunch, etc.) don't be surprised if the only people left in the conversation are co-commiserators. That cycle of negativity is no way to get ahead.

Our FUD. FUD = fear, uncertainty, and doubt, and I'm afraid that the FUD trade is alive and well. When someone approaches you with a new idea or a new resolution, don't be too quick to jump on the FUD bandwagon. Rather than see the potential negatives exclusively, try to see the potential of the idea through their eyes first.

Gossip. We all do it from time to time. Who wouldn't want to pile on around the water cooler? Of course those jeans make her look fat. Of course he should realize how ridiculous he looks dating someone half his age. Even so, that type of idle gossip isn't constructive. Look for the leadership opportunity in every conversation.

It may be okay to pilfer the candy bowl, but in real life we need to make conscious choices about what we keep to ourselves and what we share with others. If we can make better choices about the give and take in our interactions, we can increase our chances of success and help others do the same.

So Halloween has passed for another year. If you've got any tips on how to wash organic eggs off of a house, please send them my way.

Related Links

Quote of the Week

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great."
Mark Twain

Coaching Quickie: Trick or Treat

Check back next week for results!

Last Week's Results

Coaching Quickie: Say When
When do you say when?

(08%) Catastrophically too late, like Michael Scott
(67%) A little too late, like your Mom
(25%) Just in time, like Curt Schilling

If you missed it, you can read last week's newsletter online here.